22 years and 30 moves later......

Twenty-two years ago, I played my first game of chess.
Two days ago, I finally won.

Admittedly, it was against a computer that I dumbed down to only think 1-2 moves ahead, but considering that that appears to be my current level, I'll take it for what it is; an earned victory.

My relationship to the Royal Game has all of the elements of a love-hate relationship. The attraction, the flirtation, the frustration, the repulsion, lather, rinse, repeat. I'm fascinated by the game, but yet I could never win a game. Humans usually took too much glee in kicking my ass to actually teach my anything (even when asked to teach), and computers merely handed me a glee-free ass-kicking, mostly because I'd set the rating too high.

Quoth a (de)motivational poster: A quitter never wins, and a winner never quits. However, to never win and never quit makes you a moron.

I never won. So I quit. The frustration would fade a couple of years later, and I'd try again. etc. etc. etc.

I guess the thing that amazes me the most about winning is that I now know that my brain can actually think "that way", for certain values of "that way".

Happiness has been hard to come by for the past several weeks, but this helped a lot.

Where's my prize?

Realization: Often, the only reward for being responsible is that you're not nearly as screwed as you would be if you weren't. The fact that you still end up somewhat screwed isn't a terribly useful incentive, but it's all you get.