The Hunt Begins

[mangosteen]

Time has come.

It all started at around noon yesterday when I talked with the buyer's agent. Little did I know how twisted I'd become only 18 hours later. We talked about what property I had in mind, went through a bunch of non-optional criteria, talked about the market a bit, and so on. I left with a small stack of paper giving me all the relevant details about a few domiciles that looked interesting. Nothing special, and it got the ball rolling.

I didn't even suspect anything when my sweetie and I went to see a place yestreday evening. I'm sure it's possible to lay out 1125 sqft. of space in a less-optimal layout for us, but you'd have to try. We walked around, she did some sketches, I took some pictures, all good.

It's the little things that get you. As the prospective place was only about seven blocks away from where we lived, we took the scenic route through the neighborhood. First, it was noting every single for-sale sign on every lawn in a three-block radius. I could smell them. Every piece of property that wasn't on my 18-candidate list (all memorized, of course) was duly noted for later inquiry. I started looking through houses to see the general structure, to predict the layout without even walking through the front door.

It really is an augmented reality. Once I earnestly started the task of looking for property, I started viewing the world with a heads-up display and crosshairs. I am Elias K. Mangosteen, real-estate-seeking missile. No "For Sale" sign eludes my gaze. I keep a pen and paper with me at all times, just to note addresses and realtor numbers for immediate followup. I have five different MLS websites in my bookmarks bar. I plan my weekends around at least two (but no more than four) open houses each day. I am Azathoth, gibbering madly at the center of a universe of charming three-bedroom one-and-a-half-bath condos with breathtaking views of the Boston skyline.

This morning, in between me talking about the current mortgage environment and the general Boston real-estate market, my sweetie asserted that real-estate is like wedding planning, but for guys. Therefore, if I somehow become the house-hunting equivalent of Bridezilla, it is upon all of you to tell me to chill out, calm down, and get a life.

No guarantee of me listening, though.

Update: Okay! Okay! You're all guys!

Comments

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. And it takes months after closing for it to wear off, too.

[tayefeth.livejournal.com]

my sweetie asserted that real-estate is like wedding planning, but for guys.

That probably explains why I was the one searching the area, poking home inspectors and mortgage folks, and generally stressing about house-finding, while my sweetie got a referral from his mother, looked at it, said "I want that one" and left me to handle the details. Not that I'm objecting, or anything...

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

Count me as one of the guys, then... I much prefer geeking about real estate.

[siderea]

Yeah, that makes me a guy, too.

Welcome to the cult. You know you can subscribe to the MLS, and have it just email new (and newly repriced) properties within your criteria to you. It's like the local crack dealer doing house calls.

[n2mlq.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, get this. Only I only have two sites for mls. what are yours?

[fidgetmonster.livejournal.com]

it wore off quite promptly for me. I think it was a built-in anti-buyers remorse defense mechanism. All the energy was then transferred to futzing with the new house. It's sort of like a virus though, that rears its head every once in awhile until i do a quick course of open houses to put it back in remission.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

God, yes. I'm not sure how I'll bring myself to stop once I do have a place.

(And while it might be accurate to count myself a guy anyway, I still disagree about the guy-real-estate thing. :)

[ceo]

the pregnant chick says "I guess I'm a guy."

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

just wait, it gets worse. so much worse.

soon you will be able to spot water damaged that was badly painted over, poor multi-zone heating setups, the dent in the backyard where the sewer/septic collapsed, the rotting fences, the hastily repaired deck, and all the other bad things every property has.

you'll sense when the agent, yes, even your buyer's agent is lying or has made a deal with the enemy. you'll know the dollar figure to the closest 100 on what needs repair and how much. you'll come to associate the smell of fresh baked bread or pie with deceit (they do that to make a home feel nicer. no, really...)

your journey will only begin with places like home despot and local hardware stores, and hell, it will never end. you'll be looking at houses from now on, most likely.

sez the veteran of looking at 100s of houses for himself and others and the son of a real estate agent.

boo yah.

#

[dsrtao]

Eliz didn't. It's been 3 years, and she still keeps track of new listings in this town.

[kazmat.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, I remember that feeling well. And I've started looking at MLS listings in the past month (serious looking, as opposed to the browsing which always goes on) since one of us will be giving up the house. Frankly, I love my current house, so I hope it's not me, but should that turn out to be the case, I'll at least be prepared and know what's out there. I'd rather be stuck with the problems that I know (and a house that I adore), though, than inherit someone else's issues. :}

(Oh, and obviously I must be a guy too.)

[caulay.livejournal.com]

Just as a note, even now, in the immediate aftermath, still make note of "For Sale" signs, pick up the real estate rags and browse the MLS sites.

[simonb.livejournal.com]

the smell of fresh baked bread or pie with deceit (they do that to make a home feel nicer. no, really...)

The other trick which can be used is to put a bit of vanilla essence in a warm oven.

[simonb.livejournal.com]

After owning a house for ~7 years and doing lots of work on it, I tend to view houses with a DIY view. As such we now have friends ask us to help view potential houses as my wife can do the decorating side of things (I've got a decorating blind spot) and I can do the rest of the DIY stuff.

We've scared estate agents when we notice things that they've tried to gloss over and in at least one case the homeowner has ended up fixing (or at least doing a better job of hiding) the problems we've seen.

[siderea]

Which is why whenever someone tries aroma-promotion, one should always turn to the agent (in front of the seller) and inquire in a worried and slightly disgusted tone of voice, "But... what's that smell?!" ;)


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[awfief.livejournal.com]

a note: you didn't say "only guys become house-zilla." You said, "Guys that don't understand Bridezilla, can understand it when they become house-zilla." I would fully agree with that. As for the women who become Bride-zill AND house-zilla, well, they also tend to become baby-zilla (if they have kids) and end up, as most geeks do, alienating those who don't have or don't want to geek about those things.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

Hee! You're *so* much more organized than me. When I first saw the apartment I eventually bought, my mom asked me stuff like "how many closets does it have? Outlets? Windows?" And I had no idea at all.

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

I have to completely agree on the house-zilla/bride-zilla front. They're similar because they're founded on the same premise: that if you can do this thing right, you can be guaranteed a happy life.

Actually doing this thing right entails some level of self-awareness and ability to lay back, and guarantees you nothing at all. House-zilla is somewhat more logical than bride-zilla in that you'll have the house for more than a day, and it will make more difference to you long-term. Also, house-zilla does not give you leeway to yank your friends around and make them wear funny clothes.

I'm running into baby-zillas, and have not worked them into my view of the universe yet, except that they're fucking scary.