One rule to ring them all....

[mangosteen]

Query: What's the best and/or most effective rule you've ever made up for yourself (i.e. as opposed to generally good ideas you've adopted)?

Extra Credit: How long have you had the rule, and what has it enabled you to do (or kept you from doing)?


"Before asking for help / sending mail / calling someone out on something, I will spend an extra two minutes doing my homework before acting."

I've had this rule for about five years at this point, and it has saved me from looking like a complete and total ass at least two times in the past week.

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Good lord, I wish our users would do that before sending in CS tickets.

Most of the answers are (relatively) easily findable on our website.

[rosefox]

"Time spent on decision-making is time well spent, but once you know what the right thing to do is, do it now."

Also, "Never apologize for taking care of yourself."

[coorr.livejournal.com]

When I lost my job back in 2002 I made a rule. Don't eat when your bored. Since I figured I would be bored and around the house a lot.

It worked quite well... in some cases too well. I found myself not eating when I was quite hungry just because I was also bored. To some extent it has stuck with me, but it doesn't apply as regularly as it did back then.

[sparkgrrl658.livejournal.com]

i have a terrible time with this! when i'm home and not doing anything i open the fridge/cupboard/freezer constantly. even when i consciously know i am not hungry, i will convince myself that i am and have a "snack."

i'm six weeks in to a major diet overhaul anyway, but man that was the hardest. (i also made it easier on myself by simply not having shit around i could just stuff in my face.)

[dchenes.livejournal.com]

"The result of a counting rhyme in French (as opposed to in English) is the final answer."

I've been doing that since 2005 or so.

[elbren]

do maxims count?
if so, "many things worth doing are hard, but not everything that's hard is worth doing"

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

Josh's Rule: Expect people to conform to previously established behavior patterns.

The rule has allowed me to accept, or work around behaviors in others that some people found frustrating, and gets me labeled as tolerant and patient because I'm so accepting of those behaviors. Assuming I choose to accept them.

If I choose not to, I know they wont likely change unless the person in question is making a serious effort to change themselves. If they are, I can be patient with them.

[sparkgrrl658.livejournal.com]

i am often accused of "putting up with too much" or being pacifying, or something similar, which i frankly find a little offensive. as long as i'm fully aware of what i'm doing and what my role is in relationships, i'm in control and that's my choice. if i decide "that's just who i am" isn't a person i can deal with, i walk. simple.

besides, there is also much to be said for the comfort in knowing exactly what to expect all of the time.

[oonh.livejournal.com]

keep hot spares of os disks for all machines you own, so that if the active disks in them go ker-crash, you have next to no downtime.

[wotw]

This rule has saved my ass at least three times in the past three years.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

"Don't be an idiot and don't be a jerk." I decided when I was fourteen that that was my life philosophy, and I've stuck with it. There are other things that are important to me, but intelligence and kindness are my main values. I certainly don't always succeed in behaving accordingly, but I try.

[moonshadow.livejournal.com]

"Do self-care BEFORE you're feeling tired, overwhelmed, and behind schedule."

Treating self-care as part of my life maintenance (like doing the laundry, in other words) allows me to be much more functional and less cranky.

[coorr.livejournal.com]

I wish I could get myself to do the laundry before I am out of clothes :-)

[figmo.livejournal.com]

"Be someone you can live with."

This has always been my way of life, and if I find myself not going in a direction I want, I know something's wrong.

[veek.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. *thinks*

Any day during which I get down on myself about not exercising enough, I am to take a reasonably long (20m+) walk.

Off and on for a decade. It's kept me from beating myself up even more than I otherwise do.

[catness.livejournal.com]

"Do 2 or 3 Big Tasks A Day"

As opposed to trying to do *all* of them (usually 20 or more) and failing.

[tisiphone.livejournal.com]

"Don't argue with idiots on the Internet."

(Yes, I know it's a common enough rule, but I've been trying to remember it since at least 1993.)

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

"If you break up, it should be for at least three months. Any less than that and you're just going to keep having the same relationship that you didn't want to be in. And if they won't wait for you, then it isn't worth it anyway."

I made that rule in 7th grade after watching Krissy & Brian (the star couple of our grade) break up for the third time in a day. I've never broken it and I've never been sorry.

More recently I've been working on "You don't have to say everything you think." That's less a rule than a guideline, but it's working pretty well for me.

[dancingdeer.livejournal.com]

"Never do anything you'll regret later."

And I never have - even if something wasn't great in retrospect, there was a reason for it and I learned something from the experience. Corollary: always think things through before doing them.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Funny, a key one of mine is "People regret the things they didn't do, more than the things they did."

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

"Don't get any closer than necessary to somebody who doesn't respect your* personal boundaries, or who will only respect boundaries that are vigorously defended** rather than just stated."

I started fumbling around the concept about 15 years ago. It was really hard, because it was such an unfamiliar metric for trust and respect. Not just unfamiliar to me--it's alien to the common culture in a lot of ways. (Consider the romantic tropes of pursuit and seduction; the idea that vigorous argument is fun for its own sake and a good way to discover truth; and the expectation that admirable/brave/competent people will stand up for themselves.)

*for values of "you" that are very like "me," of course

**including logical defenses as well as physical ones. A person might not have a good reason for not wanting to be hugged, or might not want to say. "Well, sure. I can skip the hugs--if you give me a good reason..." is a strong creep-indicator.

[charleshaynes.livejournal.com]

"No one is the villain of their personal story."

I've been using this one for over 20 years now. Reminds me when I run into someone being "evil" to try to understand where they're coming from - not necessarily to condone it, but to understand it.

"People suspect others of their own vices."

This one is equally old for me. If someone accuses you of something, then it's usually something they're capable of.

"Listen to what they say, but act based on what they do."

This is a common one, but still true. Maybe only 15 years old with me.

[mangosteen]

"People suspect others of their own vices."

I like that one a lot.

Now, to make an inventory of things I've recently accused people of doing, and see how that matches up.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

I look behind myself when I get up from somewhere or leave a place.
I used to lose stuff out of my pockets or so on all the time. It's rare now.

[zahraa]

Always go to the bathroom before crossing a traffic-laden body of water such as the Hudson River or the San Francisco Bay. I've had that rule for a long time.

[apostle-of-eris.livejournal.com]

Never pass up a bathroom or a nap.
-- Winston Churchill

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

Question everything.

Had that rule since my first divorce, around eleven years ago. It's served me well, especially in the areas of IT and security, but in other places as well. Like "before you hang this cabinet, check to see if that wall is plumb", for example.

[ceo]

Which remind me of my First Rule Of Working On Houses: Nothing is ever level, plumb, square or straight. Especially in my house.

[catya.livejournal.com]

"new mistakes next time"

Also, "Perspective: Use it or Lose it."

[fidgetmonster.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound a bit glib, but "never break more than one law at a time". e.g., if you're speeding, don't run the yellow light too. I guess it really has more to do with probabilities [of getting in trouble].

[blk]

Amusingly, the one I have that is very close to what you posted would be something like: "After spending 5 minutes being stumped on a problem, ASK FOR HELP instead of just sitting there getting frustrated." Much better for me to have to ask an stupid question than to panic privately about feeling stupid and then get nothing done.

[mangosteen]

Indeed! That rule is semi-codified at work as the "15 minute flail rule."

[trom.livejournal.com]

There's always room for bacon.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Also, no one seems to have said this yet, but: LOVE THE SUBJECT LINE!!!1!