(no subject)

Dear various state legislatures,

It is 3:43am in my time zone. In a normal and just world, I would be asleep right now, sleeping the sleep of one who is drugged out of his gourd on NyQuil. Needless to say, I am not. It appears that in a fit of "we can DO something about this!", you all decided to enact a set of laws regarding drugs that contain pseudoephedrine. The only NyQuil-- you remember NyQuil, right? The Big F-ing Q? The "coughing, sneezing, stuffy head, JUST RENDER ME UNCONSCIOUS OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL MANKIND" medicine? That one. The only NyQuil that I could find in my snot-induced haze was the "alternative, pseudoephedrine-free formula". The local drugstore was out of the original formulation when I bought it. I'm sure that my thought at the time was "Hey! I'm open to new things. I'm sure that this stuff will work just as well."

I'm astoundingly awake right now, although I did finally rummage around the medicine chest and found some emergency reserve of Sudafed. I'm working on no sleep, a nose that is only now abandoning its aspirations of becoming the Bellagio fountains, and a whole package of green pills that should be labeled "NyQuil DOESN'T *&#^@$&# WORK formula." I also have to report for jury duty in 4 hours. I suppose that I'm as ready to fulfill my civic obligations as you all were when you thought of this law.

No love,
Eli