You are it.

rm has put up a posting which I completely agree with and which you should all read, regarding wondering where the party is and where the cool kids are.

Go read it. I'll wait.

I only figured it out a couple of years ago, and I still lapse sometimes, but understanding that the party is where I am, and that to an external observer I might be the cool kid, was one of the most freeing things I ever had the sense to figure out.

Really. Just read it.