More adventures in localized anti-entropic activities

[mangosteen]

You know it's bad when your attempts at unpacking begin to sound like the beginning of a Roald Dahl story:

"Not too long ago, Elias started taking apart his printer in a most unexpected way."

Challenge: Write the next three sentences of the above story, in a style of your choice.

Comments

[dchenes.livejournal.com]

That reminds me of a monologue I always meant to write, based on an actual phone conversation I had once: "Hello? Oh, not much, just taking the phone apart..."

[xthread.livejournal.com]

He'd known that techniques had really been improving since HP moved the last of their printing division offshore, but the organic cartridges the Chenothi used were really unexpected. And he'd known to purchase a torx set to dismantle the drum, but he hadn't realized that the purpose of the torx was to allow a portion of the printer to adequately penetrate another portion of the printer. It was all very strange.

But now that the parts were fully separated from each other, he could begin to actually test his hypothesis that some of the Chenothi parts were actually being imported from Wolf 319, and had an entire different chemistry. From what he'd been reading, their structure was based on isotopic carbon, which should be easy to test for in his home chromatography setup...

[dsrtao]

The small calibers no longer held much appeal for him. After standing a moment in uffish thought, Elias carefully selected two rounds of .450 Nitro Express to load into the over-and-under 1939 Holland & Holland. "Nay," thought he, "Let us not dick around," and discarded these in favor of the 20mm Mechem NTW which proved to be entirely adequate to the task.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

He was used to ripping them open, since HP Inkjets were as useless as paperweights once the first ink cartridge was empty. However, this printer required finesse and delicate handling. The last thing Elias wanted to do was disturb the mouse nest inside.

[fj.livejournal.com]

You see, nobody thought that taking a wrecking ball to the office building was really on the agenda for Elias that day, or even in the future. But as the machine slammed its weight against the wall yet again, Elias knew that if he just explained the last two days properly, even the D.A. would see that there simply was no toher choice. And if the D.A. didn't see it his way, well, there still was no other choice right now -- not after what the office manager had said two hours ago about the printer and the corpse.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

First he removed the machine, so only a tracery of sparks remained. Then he carefully wound up the string of sparks and put it in his pocket. That left only the words, hovering an even three inches above the table.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

This makes one of the best ultrashorts I've read in a long time. :-)

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

*grinbounce* Thank you so much!

[http://users.livejournal.com/cgull_/]

It was not congruent with zen, feng shui, or any other holistic practice of mind, because his hair had been caught in the paper-feed rollers. When this noisy attempt at releasing his hair from its impromptu perm treatment failed, Elias knew that he was in a grave danger that no spinach, no matter how electric green, would save him from. He would have to resort to scissors.

[roozle.livejournal.com]

"Nice printer, printer, printer," he cooed to it as he took it out of the box. "You darling thing!" he gushed as he unwrapped the bubble wrap and newsprint that had cushioned it on its long journey. "Ah. That's that," he stated with satisfaction after he carried it to the window and listened to it smash to a million pieces on the stone steps two floors below.

Am I feeling hostile? Why do you ask?

[vatine]

Carefully hanging the spare parts in the air, Elias continued the disassembly.
In the very next deal, gravity caught his bluff and the clatter of plastic made him jump.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

After drilling six tiny holes in the bottom, the endpoints of which could form a Star of David, the printer began to glow. As the casing of the printer began to fade away, Elias found himself unable to look away from the bright neon orange light, even though it gave him a headache. Inside was a tiny music box, which may have been the cause of the strange sounds the printer made while in use.

(I couldn't resist a fourth sentence.)

As he delicately extracted the box and held it in his palm, Elias wondered what he should do next.

[redcountess]

He climbed up to the top of his neighbour's widow's walk, and with a sigh of satisfaction threw the printer into the yard below. Elias was as gleeful as the local children that assembled around the detritus of the printer to help him pick up the pieces.

Elias started taking apart his printer...

[cos]

Not too long ago, Elias started taking apart his printer in a most unexpected way. I mean, you take a guy like Elias, the kind who's always going to London and writing papers to give talks at conferences and telling stories at parties and everyone's gathering around to hear them, that kind of guy, you expect him to start with the secret part of the printer you never knew existed, you know? A guy like that, you don't think he's gonna start by pulling out the manual before he even so much as pulls out the paper tray, but that's what he did. I swear to God, it's always those guys who are getting out the manual before they even pull out the goddamn paper tray.

(Extra points: What have I been reading recently? :)

Re: Elias started taking apart his printer...

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Sounds like JD Salinger. Then again, it HAS been awhile since I'd read any of his stuff...

Re: Elias started taking apart his printer...

[cos]

wee got it!

Re: Elias started taking apart his printer...

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Hah, That B.A. in Lit should be good for something...it was my first of three degrees and I'm sentimental about it.

Re: Elias started taking apart his printer...

[mangosteen]

Phillip Roth?

Re: Elias started taking apart his printer...

[mangosteen]

Okay, so what have you been reading recently?

[superfinemind.livejournal.com]

Not too long ago, Elias started taking apart his printer in a most unexpected way. He clearly had some particular intent, though hardly anybody would recognize what it was as he dissected it ever so carefully, taking especial care with the optical parts. He's almost done, now, with building the entire apparatus-- but few would know what you could possibly do with a hexagonal mirror, a motor to make it spin, a small laser, and a long, straight hallway...

[auntiemisha.livejournal.com]

The man had come over to help unpack and configure all the various metal bits with letters on them for the press, but listening to his constant complaints about the lawlessness of the new sheriff put Elias in a foul and wicked mood. When the man's back was turned, Elias took out his gun and pistol-whipped the man into unconsciousness. While staring hotly at the man at his feet, Elias realized this would be a wonderful opportunity to see if it was true that future could be read in entrails.